10 Things I've Googled Since I Gave Birth

1. 'Breast fed babies pooh transitions'

From meconium to the aptly named 'chicken korma' stage, who knew there existed a continuum of newborn baby shit..?

2. 3 day old bright green algae pooh. Normal?

Because how can something that goes in white come out that green?

3. How to get rid of newborn hiccups

When you find that deliberately trying to make the startle reflex happen isn't the responsible answer

4. Caffeine intake when breastfeeding. Is my baby wired?

Sleepless nights plus suped up next day coffee consumption... is my baby sharing my caffeine high and does this make me a bad mother?   

5. Why is my newborn so scaley?

Did anyone tell you that your beautiful newborn will shed a layer of skin over the first two weeks of their life? And that you'll have to baste them back up with olive oil? No. They don't. 

6. What can one year olds do?

On those days when you feel like your baby has no loyalty and just sees you as the bringer of milk and you find yourself looking to the future in the hope that one day they might want to do more things with you other than look past you and demand things... 

7. Why is my sternum sticking out?

There's a big focus on stretch marks in pregnancy. Less discussed are some of the other physical effects of pregnancy on women's bodies.

When you realise that lump near your breast bone wasn't ever your babies heel as you presumed when stroking and cooing over it the last few months, for example, but in fact was the result of your massive uterus pressing against your sternum, which is now permanently contorted. 

8. 'Nipple confusion'

And other breastfeeding/expressing fears you didn't know existed 9 months ago.

9. When can I have sex again?

Because it's been a while since you didn't look/feel like some kind of sea turtle in bed.

10.'Permanent contraception' 

Then again perhaps such high risk behaviour shouldn't be engaged in just yet...